How to Deal with a Lonely Restless Night




  1. Catalog the food in the kitchen. The seven different kinds of pasta, the half used jar of real cream Alfredo, the lentils, quinoa, granola, risotto. The desperate tub of Cool Whip, the spoiled brussel sprouts, spoiled eggplant, two boxes of collards. Ignore your roommate’s food, the Applewood smoked bacon, the thawed chicken, soaking in pink.
  1. Don’t listen to Bon Iver. He knows what you want and you know what will not happen.
  1. Look at the trash in your room. It will be there when you look next.
  1. Collect all your dishes, make some up if you have none dirty. Fill the sink with hot water, the kind that stings your hands red. Let them soak. Turn your back on them.
  1. Reach out. You won’t but you should. The friends you have are busy with their own brand of late night normal.
  1. Realize you are the only thing standing in your way then ignore the thought.
  1. Make food that is terrible for you. Right now, it is about instant gratification and it can be yours. Bacon and the rest of the real cream Alfredo and the chicken cooked till it looks like a meal. Eat it. With each bite hate yourself more.
  1. Once its finished, leave all the dishes in a pile in the sink. The water will be lukewarm and can be dealt with tomorrow.
  1. Go to the bathroom for your night time routine. Set out your tooth brush, toothpaste, hair brush, face wash and a washcloth folded neatly in a square. With the routine done, head to bed.
  1. Cry. You’ve been wanting to but now you have to. Cry. Sob. Scream into the nearest pillow. Allow your body to mourn the night so you can begin again tomorrow.


Savannah Wade graduated from UNC Asheville with a BA in Literature with concentration in Creative Writing. Her work has been featured in Smokey Blue Literary and Arts Review, Unapologetic, and IMFU. Currently she is working on a mixed genre collection about grotesque Western North Carolina. For updates on her creative projects, check out her tumblr.


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